Through this giveaway for Alloy of Law, A Mistborn Novel, I found out that Brandon Sanderson has some pretty passionate fans. We always ask for snark and while we received our fair share of snark....
Will the sequel to "The Alloy of Law" be
called "An Emulsion of Torts"? - Frank Nagy
"Let's see, who can we get to whip up a novel quick so we can slap an urban steampunk cover on it and sell a bajillion? I know, Brandon Sanderson. He's not busy right now!" - Todd Tyrna
At least Harriet didn't ask G.R.R.M. to write AMOL. - Zach West
Or was it the novelization of Angry Birds? I can't keep your stuff straight. - Keith Potempa
...I was a bit snarky myself with the subject line (I thought you were working on A Memory of Light), there were plenty who came to Sanderson's rescue and I was very impressed...
You're like Clive Cussler, but without 5 other authors writing with you... - Randy Siedelmann
Branderson has recently acquired the Fantasy Author Beard, though it is a bit wimpy, and I'm starting to wonder if Epicness of Author Beard's Size is converse to output. I mean GRRM and Pat Rothfuss have huge beards and their books are few and far between. Branderson went from being beardless with quite a few books coming out to a new, albeit small, goatee effect, still with quite the output but I think he's slowing down a bit. - Caitrin Clewell
...by the fans who both want A Memory of Light...
Geeze! Why do you have to come out with awesome books like "The Alloy
of Law" when you should be working on aMoL! - Scott hillstrom
Well, this is definitely not A memory of light. Apparently Mat Rand and Perrin can wait a while for the end of the world to come.
At least The alloy of law is already after the end of a world... - Garret Rushforth
I know you needed to develop firearms tactics for Matt in AMoL, but don't you think this is taking it a bit too far? - Alden Stradling
You better start burning that bloody Bendalloy, the flaming 36 and a half thousand new characters in A Memory of Light aren't going to bloody create themselves! Blood and bloody ashes.. Keep going on like this and we'll box your ears! - Erik Thomas
Why on earth would you stop working on the best fantasy in the world ? Oh yeah, to continue the second-best. Go Brandon ! - Marc St. Pierre
"I expect the climax action of AMoL to be in the glossary because that's where all the good stuff ends up." ;) - Emilie Nangle
...and by those who would prefer he work on his own projects...
But frankly I'd rather you keep working on Mistborn. Unless that gets in the way of working on the next Stormlight book! - Nick Chaney
Another 10 years is nothing for a WoT fan! Go on, finish the Stormlight Archive first, we'll still be waiting! - Chris Mowery
I've decided what I need is an allomantic power that collects luck. I would use it all here if I could get this book. I think it would be worth having bad luck on other things, like finding pennies. Just saying. This is worth saving up for years and not finding any lucky pennies. - Emily Younker
Can you imagine how anxious we are all going to be for the final book of the Stormlight Archive? Brandon better be able to finish it. Thank God Mormons have long life expectancies. - Nick Castelli
...and then there's just some random comments, including making fun of us at Only the Best (which I always encourage) I couldn't help but include...
You think you could change your email address a few more times? email@example.com has a nice ring to it. - Logan Stewart
Snarky comments? So now I'm supposed to "work" to get free shit?
What kinda well-fare system is this? - John Corvino
Arrrgh! (That's pirate for snarky witticism.) - Craig Mulanax
I promise to never again make-out with my cat if I win this book from you. Come on! I read the trilogy and I've been brushing my teeth and flossing every damn night. - Joseph Gervasi
I don't know much about being snarky but I did include the quotations in the subject line out of spite. - Greg McFarland
Exceedingly simple rules shouldn't contain a request for snarky remarks. - Robin Freeman
You should probably give me this book. For a number of reasons, really, but before you dismiss me, you have to hear my story. I have a small child. Mistborn is her favorite. She has a cloak she made all by herself and runs around the house yelling 'Mommy, I'm Vin! Look at me fly!" and then proceeds to throw nickels at me. She heard about this new book and looked up at me with those big beautiful baby blues and I just knew I had to find a way to get her a copy. ...Okay. I don't have a child. That's really just me I'm describing. I really need to stop this lie before I turn my non existent child into Tiny Tim, complete with one working leg, poverty so complete you'd have to have a little compassion. Not to mention tell you terrible things about her having cancer. (Again, describing a younger me. Although with less melodrama. I should have stayed a child, I was worthy of so much more empathy back then.) I don't want to be a monster to even a fictional character, I'm just really, really poor and cannot explain to you how much it would mean to me to have not just Brandon Sanderson lastest masterpiece, but his actual signature in my hands. A girl can dream! I'm sorry. This was going to be the snarkiest thing you ever read, but I suddenly grew a conscience halfway through and just couldn't go through with it. Crap. - Dani Sweet
I may be the only one who thinks it's hilarious that the audio book is the second prize, as that's the only version I can truly appreciate, being a blind guy. Hey, you know what that means, don't you? I have no memories of light. Heheheh. Apparently I could see for a while as a child, but trying to remember that time is like steel pushing a credit card. It just ain't happenin. You might say my memory of sight... Memory of light?... is misty, but then I've already used that joke. Well, since time is a wheel, I'm bound to just use it again. Yeah, my advice is to stop reading this message now, lest your metalminds are overloaded with an infinite loop. Now there's an interesting concept. OK, OK, I'm done, but thanks for the opportunity. - Brandon Cole
Oh, well, I guess you'd like to see who the winners are. For the signed ARC, our winner is:
Travis Bingaman from Shippensburg, PA
And the winner of the Audiobook of Alloy of Light would be:
Owen Salava from T or C, NM (had to look this up, it's Truth or Consequences)
Anyone who's snark has been mentioned in this post has just earned themselves two extra entries into the next giveaway of their choosing. Sorry to all those I didn't include, there was plenty of other great snark, this post was just getting a bit ridiculous.
Thanks for making giveaways fun for me and thanks to all who entered.