I spend my nights in fear, I don't dare close my eyes. I looked in the Yellow pages for a wizard, but could not find Harry Dresden. And so I come to you, my reader, for help. I believe that Christine, my girlfriend, is a demon if not the head honcho of hell, the devil. I have tried every trick I know to prove her demonic lineage, and have come out empty handed every time. From holy water in her tea to iron jewelry she just smiles and kisses me, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes! Just when I thought things could not get worse, I discovered that hot oil exposes her true nature! Look, what an errant drop of oil did, it revealed her master's mark.
I set out to research the number six, thinking that she was a lesser demon that could yet be turned to the ways of good. Alas, I fear that my hope was in vain. According to The Lesser Key of Solomon, my girlfriend is the sixth most powerful demon in existence, commanding ten legions of the damned. I name her now for what she is, truly, Duchess of Hell, Valefar. I now understand her game, time being her eternal ally, she seeks to tempt me to her cause, enticing me to join her forsaken legions. Ahh readers, is there no hope for my redemption and for hers? Perhaps, in your treasure trove of dark lore you hold the gem of knowledge which will save me from eternal damnation. For surely I am not strong enough to resist her power; already I feel myself slipping into her dark embrace.
Now, with confirmation of her true nature, I am at a loss for what to do. Save me oh reader, for I fear for my very soul! Day by day, my courage slips. Lend me your knowledge so that I may free myself and deliver my soul from the clutches of darkness. Hear me now and lend aid for the darkness beckons and time is short.